In both my previous pregnancies I've had PPD, I had my newest baby a month ago, and while I don't feel like I did the previous two times I know it's there, and what's worse is my counselor dropped me because I slept through an appointment (baby is still up all hours of the night I have to sleep where I can they're video appointments) so obviously I am angry. Usually she will call my phone to get a hold of me but she didn't just completely dropped me. Right now when I feel like I need someone to talk to most I have no one. I am 800 miles away from any family the only person I have to rely on is my fiance. Who really has been upsetting me because I get extremely overwhelmed when he's at work and it's just me and our 3 year old, I find myself getting so overwhelmed that I feel I'm a risk to myself, but he just doesn't seem to care just tells me I can handle it till he gets home. I love him. He's usually not rude to me but lately he just is. I don't even know that he mean. I have never felt so alone, and I don't know how to cope most days. I know that after we had our first together, I woke him to take over since i had been up all night and he called me a stupid bitch and went back to sleep, he hasn't since.. but it's still in the back of my head he will do it again. And what's worse is we have a house FULL of children. His two oldest kids (13,13) and the two kids we have together (3years & 1 month) and we are being kicked out of our apartment. We've received our 90 day notice and we don't know where we are going to go or what to do. He's been denied for everything pertaining to buying a home, and we are on wait lists for apartments but not close at all to getting anything in the next 3 months. I just can't catch a break and everything is on me, I manage everything, and take care of the little ones, and all my fiance does is sit on his ass smoking weed, I will give him credit for taking care of the littles so I can sleep during the day once he gets home then I get back up at midnight and take back over. That's the only way our system seems to work. Reality is I wanna go back home to my family, but my fiance made the decision we are staying here cause he loves his job, but since he won't cut off work every once in a while when I'm having a crisis I feel it's better I have my family for support when he's a real a**. Not to mention he got pissed I got on the nexplanon accused me of wanting to cheat all because he's getting a vasectomy at tax time, but instantly he's wanting sex. We had sex when I was 4 weeks PP. I didn't want to but I did so he'd stop pushing me on it. So now at 6 weeks PP sex is painful and my OB didn't even do a pelvic exam or address extremely painful sex. (I've had very bad pain with sex since my 3 year old was born tho, with the new baby the pain just increased even with lube)

Sorry this is just a lot of venting I really have no one to talk to anymore not even my fiance he doesn't understand and just tells me that it will get sorted. I will not live in a hotel with two little kids.

I know PPD is making my emotional issues and stress even worse. But not even docs care.