My baby was born at 25 weeks and 4 days. She was born 1 pound 10 ounces. This is day 30 for her in the nicu. I drive every day 1 hour to see her and 1 hour back. We do skin to skin for 1-2 hours daily.

The hospital she is at has horrible parking. I usually do not find a parking only at the 5th floor.. The elevator doesnt work so I have to go down 5 stories and go back up 5 stories everyday. Have been doing this since day one. I do video visit every night with her and I just watch her for a couple hours before I go to sleep. I have been trying to stay strong and postive this whole time. Today I was not able to go visit her because I was not feeling well and I went to my obgyn, she said that my aches and pains are from stress because i have been through so much and I should rest. So I decided to rest today and not go. During our video visit today she was crying with a sad face and I lost it. She is crying alone on her bed and I am crying alone on my bed💔. Is she crying because I did not come see her today? Yesturday when I went to see her she opened her eyes and saw me and gave me the most beautiful smile. 😢 It is raining hard and I want to drive to her right now but my two other kids are sleeping.