So I may seem fine and happy but I’m not I’ve been in a miserable place since my daughter passed away (went into labor early) I put on a mask so ppl don’t see my real face I get upset when I see pregnant females or females with small babies I honestly wish bad on them I know that’s not right but I still do it I’ve stopped friendships I cut off family because the were pregnant and I’ve been trying since 2019 and nothing honestly if I can’t have kids I don’t see myself being here because my dream since I was young was to have a big family I won’t adopt or foster because I need the biological relationship with the child and I wanna give birth I don’t want someone else child