When we got together, all our finances were joint basically from the start of our relationship. We were living together from very early on. I was young and he had an ex-wife and kids. (we're together for 8 years)

Since all our accounts were joint, I was paying 50% of everything.. EXCEPT.. He was making more per month, and he was paying child support, everything for his kids, loans he had had with his ex,... so our costs weren't 50% by far but they were divided 50% either way.

My eyes have opened. I don't want this anymore but my partner now feels cheated that I want to split the bills. He's feeling this way because his royal paycheck isn't covering all of his costs (his part of the rent, groceries, telecommunications, utilities,... where most is split 50% even though he has a bigger paycheck than I do... and also loans that he's paying off to his ex-parents in law, child support etc.. I think those are not my financial responsibilities), so if I'm no longer co-paying for his bills he can't cover them all and he feels cheated because I can have extra while he has to struggle and he thinks that's not right in a family. And while I understand that he feels the way he does, I have been struggling with him, making expenses that I didn't agree with, for him, for his ex, for his kids.. and I am done struggling someone else's struggle. I am being absolutely mentally exhausted from worrying about money for expenses that aren't mine. I have sacrificed so much the last 8 years to be able to cover all their costs, I have been neglecting myself, my own wants, needs and mental and physical health and I feel like I am fully in my right to take this in my own hands again. (edit: I feel like I have to explicitly mention somewhere in this section that I did talk to him many times about this and he's just dismissing my feelings saying that I'm overreacting and he's gotten through harter times.)ESPECIALLY because we have a son together now and this sacrificing is also affecting him and I feel like that is absolutely unacceptable.. As an actual example.. I cannot get our son in sports because "We don't have the money to fund his sports" but his kids play sports because their mom puts them in sports and we're legally obligated to pay for them. but also because we don't have the time to drive our son because we're constantly driving my stepkids around.. the eldest is 16, but all hell breaks loose (with mom, not the kid) when my husband suggests that he drives his bike to his sports (15-30 minute bike ride)

So our son is always behind his siblings in priority and it sucks. and I feel like I may come across as if I don't want to care for my stepkids or I don't want nice things for them but that is not at all the case. I love them and want all the best things for them, but I feel like it's not right to put our kid behind in their favor. At the least he just deserves thesame nice things not necessarily in financial value but at least in time and effort.

@Amanda

They had a court case not too long ago, he's not paying too much though.. they have 3 kids together so considering that, he's just not paying too much. All of it combined, the loans, the child support, the extra's (extracurriculars, shoes, jackets, school materials,... thise kind of add up) they tend to be pretty high..