Me and my partner have been together for almost 6 years next year , we have a daughter who is 4 and another one on the way in a couple of months.

I need advice on some many different levels.

So I am white and boyfriend is Jamaican , I’d say one of the main issues we have in this relationship (we have many issues) is his whole - your white and I’m black business.

In my opinion I would say he is the racist one in the relationship but according to him black people cant be racist to white people and the correct word I’m looking for is prejudice.

He will blame everything I do on the fact I’m white and I’m a stupid white bitch and a slave master and everything in my life should be perfect because I’m white.

I have never treated anyone differently because of skin colour or made rude comments and I’ve made more than enough effort to watch documentaries on slavery and visited a slavery museum with him to gain more of a understanding.

I 1000% understand where he is coming from given everything that happened but I don’t understand why he’s so angry with me and takes it out on me!

Like this evening’s argument was because he cooked and been on his feet so there for deserved a “ special treat 😉” I said to him well I don’t get a special treat every time I cook and for some reason me , a white person saying that makes him, a black man look at me in a negative way?

So that’s problem #1 , problem #2-

He speaks to me like an actual piece of shit under his shoe and I feel like I have walk on eggshells around him in case of doing something to upset him.

So he doesn’t work and hasn’t worked our whole relationship, Ive always worked up until recently before going back to college and I’d say that is when it all started , the daily arguments about how I’m not fulfilling his “needs” and how he will have to look for it elsewhere because he’s such a decent man that ANY woman would be more than happy to him.

I feel like he expects me to want to spend my days stuck in the house with him just because I’m not in full time work but I still do hair and beauty on the side to help with my bills ( we live separately but he is constantly at mine).

If I have a client he gets mardy about the fact I’m going to be “out” for the day and he hasn’t got anything to do like I’m going out and living my best life!

He’s said some horrible, nasty things to me that have honestly made me feel worthless and suicidal. He used to say sorry now I don’t even get that , hes made me cry multiple times in front of our daughter to the point she has actually comforted me even while he is still shouting and swearing.

He accuses me of being with him for his money which is ridiculous as he lives in his overdraft , has no savings , no car and obviously no job , so what money are we talking about?!

He even told me I wasn’t fit to look after our daughter which once again is ridiculous, I’m the one that does everything!! If it was him alone he wouldn’t be able to cope!

He does the bare minimum but likes to take the glory for all my hard work. He makes out like he’s this 10000% devoted dad who can’t do enough for his daughter. I won’t sit here and say he doesn’t love her and encourage her but he’s saying he’s the one that does everything for her when he really doesn’t.

I feel like he is a narcissist, he can’t cope unless he’s spreading his negativity and unless it’s about him he’s not interested.

I have literally been mid conversation about something really important and he’s butted in and changed the conversation to about him.

He’s happy to point out everyone else’s short comings but heaven forbid you mention something about him and you will live to regret it.

He cannot stand it when other people are in a good mood and he’s not , it feels like he will intentionally go out of his way to suck the fun and joy out of everything.

There’s so much more but that will do for now.

I’m definitely not the same person I was before meeting him , I’m miserable inside but I try to keep a happy face for the young lady but I feel like I’m stuck and suffocating and I’m never going to feel love or happiness again.

I’m never going to have that safe feeling with anyone or actually feel excited to see them or get butterflies or be made to feel special.

I haven’t had a Christmas or birthday present the whole time we have been together. I don’t even get a Mother’s Day card 🥺.

I cry every year on my birthday and Mother’s Day when I see all my friends getting flowers and chocolates and I don’t even get a card.

I can’t help but get him gifts and a card on all them occasions especially Father’s Day but I guess he doesn’t think the same way

Any advice I’d appreciated

Thank you 😊