I need advice (no judgement please)

My boyfriend (27m) and I (25f) have been dating for 10 years now and have been planning to move in together next year and we also discussed about getting married and having a family soon, I was extremely excited to start setting up our goals! But a few days ago we ended up getting into an argument about something that was so small about his mom (59f) and I’ve never meant it in a mean way, I was just being honest about how I felt but didn’t realize that he was sensitive about it… My boyfriend lost his dad years ago before we met and it has been just his mom and him and his brother (24m) ever since, he does everything for her as in cooking, paying for all of her bills, takes her out shopping, gets her nails and hair done, takes her on long trips around the world and treats her as a queen which is great! but ever since I came along she’s been good to me in many ways but recently she has been having her moments here and there about my boyfriend doing things with me and kinda being nosey about when,where what time are we going on our date, going out to the movies with our friends and planning other things as we should since we’ve been a couple for 10 years now and apparently she felt some type of way about it but some days she doesn’t care and some days she’s really clingy and upset that he doesn’t do everything for her like he used to…..but anyways I told my boyfriend I wanted to put down some rules and boundaries in our relationship due to issues of people not respecting my relationship and he agreed to talk about it but when I mentioned that I’m really excited to have a place of our own together where nobody can bother us all of a sudden he says that he HAS to bring his mom with us and live in the same house, i asked him why and he said because EVERYTHING will fall if I leave her and I don’t know why it would but apparently he thought I was being really mean about her and he got really upset and thinking that I’m trying to tell him to pick and choose which I would NEVER do!!! I feel guilty and also I feel really hurt at the same time… idk what to do🙁

*Mind you he does agree that she’s super clingy and obnoxious, he also did say he would like his space from her too but I guess he can’t because when his father passed he feels like he has to “be her parent” all the time and be with her 24/7.. she does do things every once in while by herself but then she gets upset when he’s not there to cater her all the time… She does kinda treat him as her husband, a maintenance man and her therapist.. Honesty, I think she does need help because I feel like she’s gonna get worse later in life.

I would like some advice on what to do and am I the asshole for feeling this way?😔