I just found out I have herpes this morning and my heart is honestly broken. I’m so angry and hurt I don’t know what to do. I feel like my life has ended before it has begun and I’m only 21. I think I know who gave it to me, realistically I do but I refuse to believe he would know and not tell me. All the signs where there for it to be him.. my first symptoms came about 20 days since I was last with him. It all adds up and one thing I can do is count. Funny enough me and him cut ties 3 weeks ago today due to other reasons but now I’m so angry I’m absolutely furious. I think it’s the psychological side of it that’s hurting me the most. The word herpes feels so dirty to me, and now I have it for the rest of my life. Chlamydia and gonorrhoea don’t seem so bad now lol. If I don’t laugh I’ll cry. I can’t even imagine telling a man I have herpes. Just the thought of the conversation and being judged makes me want to carry it to the grave and be celibate for the rest of my days. Crying as I’m writing this because this is my only form of expression right now. My pride is way to high to tell friends/family. I’ll keep this between me and God. Honestly I don’t know what the next steps are.. even after doing research it can still be spread even if you aren’t having an outbreak which means no one is safe? I don’t know what other advise I can give other then to please be safe and always ask for proof of a sti screening. My heart hurts so much my life has really changed forever today. I haven’t contacted him yet i don’t know if I should wait for him to contact me? I’m too angry to speak to him today and for all I know he will try and blame me and say he got it from me and then tarnish my name. However he’s the only person I’ve been with for a while and symptoms didn’t come until AFTER we stopped talking. I haven’t been with anyone but I cant vouch for him. Looking back now he mentioned a few times his face is looking “disfigured” as he put it because he had “INGROWN HAIRS AND RAZOR BUMPS” on his face but in hindsight it could’ve been an outbreak on his face and he gave it to me during oral sex. I’m absolutely devastated guys honestly 💔💔💔💔