My brother in law called me today and asked if he could come by for Thanksgiving. I told him it was fine we wernt doing anything big (because my birthday is the next day also a black friday and we have a lot going on). So he gets on to asking about his brother and weather he's got a job and what's going on in his life. I told him no (not that he hasn't been looking) but before I could finish my sentence my BIL cuts me off and tells me that I'm soft for taking care of my SO. And this isn't sending a good message to our children(we have 3)..

The more he was going on he was bashing me for not letting certain things fall on my SO and bailing him out of trouble all the time, how I'm repeating the mistakes of all the other women who tended to him in his life (my SO was raised by women) My BIL kept going and it sounded like he wanted me to say I'd leave my husband, but when I tried to tell him that he just got even more furious.

My BIL started telling me that im just like all the other women in the world who want to make life hard for black fathers. So I simply hung up, then texted him that im sorry he feels like i need to inform him how our relationship works, also not bother showing up because I won't deal with the disrespect.

My question is am I wrong or over reacting for telling him not to come even though my husband hasn't seen his brother in 3-4 years? I want my kids to know their uncle and I don't wanna be the reason my husband and his brother become distant.. but there's only so much negative energy and disrespect I can take..

Also this isn't the first time I've had this type of conversation with my BIL.