How is preschool going for your kiddo?

Question

We had our first parent teacher conference today and we all good things except he is not interacting with his peers. They said he prefers to play alone or hang out with the teachers but never with other kids. Also, if he sees a group of kids doing something he comes up to them but never participates with them. I’ve always noticed this with him and have kept waiting for it to improve over time but it hasn’t. Anyone else in a similar situation? 
He is also speech delayed and receiving services through his school. I’ve noticed that with us he doesn’t get frustrated, but he gets a little hurt when we don’t understand him, so maybe other kids can’t understand him and he’s just afraid to interact and not be understood?

Answer

My son has been in daycare since he was 1, he’s now in the preschool room and he prefers to play alone a lot as well. We went to a birthday party yesterday and I noticed that almost all of the kids from his preschool class were choosing to play by themselves based on the activity or toy they were interested in. I’m not worried, I’m an introvert as well. There is also a lot going on in a preschool class- I can understand wanting to play alone and have a bit of quiet time, it can be overwhelming with all the noise and energy

Answer

Amelia is similar. She’s been going since 9 months with most of the same children but she’s now in the preschool part. She doesn’t really play with other children. She had 2 much older brothers (8&11) and older cousins so I put it down to that but I don’t know. She kept telling me her best friend was a girl called ‘Livvie’ but that another girl doesn’t let her play with them. She also talks a lot about a boy called ‘Finley’ we had a parents evening last week and they said she never plays with these children and they’re not in the same group as they’re 4 already so they don’t know why she said that I think she’s just in awe of them as they’re older and bigger and looks up to them. They said she’s starting to play with others but mostly plays alongside. They also said she needs to work on sharing 😬
They blamed lockdown and covid for her being behind socially but I think that’s an excuse as the other children seem to have made friends! I’m hoping she’ll improve before she starts school in September (they start at 4 here) but I’m not overly concerned yet. She has just had her first invite to a birthday party so it’ll be interesting to watch how she interacts with others there xx

Answer

My son wasn't interested in playing with kids his age too when he first started. It's been 2 months and now he calls them all his friends. He still hangs around teachers and keeps silent. I did notice he plays with older kids better or more quiet kids and tries to avoid though who might have too much energy. his teachers said he is so brilliant and knows more than what an average 3 year old should know and they are concerned about his social behaviour because gifted kids tend to not be social. They pushed me to involve him in more stuff and sports and I did. At home, with kids he knows, he is super playful and jumpy, a side the teachers don't know.  But more and more each day I have watched him open up to the school and the kids so I think give it time. All kids are different and some need longer to adjust and that is ok. Just encourage but don't put too much pressure.

Answer

Mine is the same way. He’s happy to engage in parallel play, but prefers playing by himself. When I ask who his friends are at school he’ll say “Hadley and Ethan, and I like to play marble rollers with them!” So I know he’s aware and at least engaging with the other kids sometimes. His teacher brought this up as a concern, alongside his defiance to authority, and his difficulty transitioning from one activity to another. 
At home, he’s definitely not as defiant as they’re saying he is at school. He’s absolutely strong-willed and bossy though, so I think it’s coming out as defiance at school. His teacher went so far as to suggest ODD which just made me mad. He’s three. He’s trying to exercise control.
He loves to play with older kids and adults. He’s been an only child and only grandchild up until a few months ago so I just think he hasn’t learned or isn’t comfortable around kids his age or younger yet. The other day we had an event at our church and he played with a few elementary aged girls for hours. It was so cute!

How is preschool going for your kiddo?

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