So. My husband and I have deffinitly had many ups and downs, as is with any relationship especially in the beginning years. We have been together 3.5, married for 2.

One thing he's been almost asking for and trying to instigste recently is having hate sex, because he misses it. Like, shit I do too. It's some of the BEST sex ever.

He's not being horribly rude or picking fights but he has been throwing jokes about me being lazy in the hopes of getting a rise out of me because we both know I'm anything but. When I call him out he says he's just hoping we might fight fight and maybe it'll lead to hate sex. 😅

We agreed about 8 ish months ago we are done doing the bandaid hate sex because it just tables the problems for later and nothing ever gets solved. We've both agreed we are doing SO much better since we stopped caving into hate sex.

It's not a deal breaker or anything overly concerning because like I said, he caves that he's joking around and that it's been on his mind lately.

I'm trying to think of other ways to bring on the same passion as hatred does at this point. 🤣

I don't know. Just wanted to hear thoughts about the situation maybe and ideas what I could do. Because I don't want us to fight all for the sake of bomb ass sex. 😤

Clearly it's not healthy? 🤨🤨🤨 I clearly said it's not a good thing and has improved our relationship since we stopped doing it.

To the confused person, we DON'T ANYMORE. I'm trying to figure out what exactly about it makes it so good in the first place. Because we do have rough sex and that's not quite the same experience. It's a great, while unhealthy way, to blow off steam when you're angry. It's not over our marriage as I've said a few times now is better because we've since cut it out. Fuck sake, lack reading comprehension much? I'm trying to learn ways to work around it because we BOTH enjoy it but obviously shits not healthy.

I'm tempted when it comes to experimenting more in the bedroom (because there is very little we haven't done) to maybe try to channel his anger when he has a shit day at work. Take it out on my pussy. 🤣 We shall see.