My husband and I have been trying for number 2 after we miscarried in July with number 2. So I guess this would be number 3??? Anyway we’ve been trying and have continuously gotten negatives. The past week and a half I’ve been feeling so tired and sick. Smells are intense. My appetite has increased and I’ve had serve cramping and headaches. All things I experienced with my first and second pregnancies. Because of my OCD and anxiety I’ve tested literally EVERYDAY since ovulation and have gotten all negatives. I bought a first response this morning and it’s supposed to be able to pick up pregnancy 6 days sooner than your missed period and my period is in 6 days but the test was negative again. Today I am 8 dpo and I’m starting to think I’m not pregnant again this month because it would of picked up by now right? I found out with my daughter 10 days dpo and 10 days dpo with the last pregnancy.

Apart of me feels selfish because I keep thinking “you have a beautiful two yr old baby girl and although you struggled to conceive her for over a year you did it! There are women who haven’t even gotten their first baby so stop being ungrateful.” I tell myself to be grateful but at the same time since losing our sweet boy in July I feel like there’s a hole in my heart. Like a piece is missing. I’ve been feeling so anxious and depressed recently and I can’t shake it.