Is being purposefully mean the same as being honest and not caring about it the truth hurts someone's feelings?

Background: I go EXTREMELY out of my way to not hurt someone's feelings. In an argument I choose my words very carefully and will sometimes not bring up multiple examples of something I have a problem with if one will suffice. My husband has admitted to being purposefully mean at times, saying things he doesn't believe but he knew would hurt me so he could "win" (don't worry im getting divorced soon)

Anyway when we got in this big argument for once I didnt protect his feelings. I said straight up that I had problems. That he lied to me our entire relationship. He coerced me into a fraudulent married and fraudulent relationship by lying about specific moral stipulations i made for getting married to someone. He had HURT people. Multiple times. In ways I find disgusting and abhorrent. And I told him as such and about how betrayed I am. How he was only thinking of himself if the reason he lied to me was "I thought you would leave if I told you" and so he lied for 11 years, knowing that this was a major problem for me in the best circumstance if you don't include so many years of lies. That it feels like my happiness of the past was fake because I wasn't in the relationship I thought I was. An honest consenting one.

After I expressed this he told me that I was as bad as him because I said all the mean stuff I did. He said it didn't matter if it was factually true, that I could have said it in a way that didn't hurt his feelings. That saying true things when I dont care if it hurts his feelings is the same thing as him saying things to purposely hurt mine.... so that makes me a hypocrite.

I cant seem to get this out of my mind. Is he right?