On November 21st I found out I was pregnant with baby #3 and I was ecstatic! We were trying for 10 months and I felt so relieved and happy!

The next day I started doubting myself. I didn’t “feel pregnant” because with my second I knew instantly (even before I tested) that I was pregnant. But this time things felt “off”.

On Wednesday November 23rd I got a digital test and right away it came up saying “pregnant”. I was through the moon excited and tried to keep those thoughts at bay. My husband and I decided to announce the next day since the whole family would be together for thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving day we told our families. They were all so excited because they knew how long we were trying. I went to bed thanksgiving night still feeling off but tried to let it go

Friday morning I woke up and I noticed some blood in my underwear. I thought it was implantation bleeding. I called my midwife and she said it probably is implantation bleeding and that I shouldn’t worry. My husband and I had to go to a work event of his so I tried not to let it bother me as it wasn’t getting worse. Later that day I started to get cramps and when I went to the bathroom blood gushed out of me. All my fears were starting to become true as I cried and cried an hour away from home. As we got into the car I called my midwife and she advised me that I needed to go to the ER. When we got to the ER we waited 2.5 hours before getting a room. In that time I bled through 2 pads and cried through almost an entire box of tissues. I was a wreck

When we finally got to our room, I got bloodwork done, urine sample and ultrasound. After 6 hours now of being in the hospital the doctor came in and informed my husband and I that we are having a chemical pregnancy. I don’t think I have ever cried that hard. I cannot seem to stop crying. Every time I look at my two boys I cry. I cry knowing I’ll never see my baby ever. I can’t stop crying! Tomorrow of Tuesday we will go back to the doctors for more bloodwork and another ultrasound. The doctor gave my baby a 10% survival chance and in my heart I know my baby is gone.

From the very beginning I knew something was wrong. I just knew it