I have 3 sons, a 6 year old, 2 Year old and a newborn.

I was 19 when I had my first son and I was living with my parents with him until he was 4. Basically my mom is his second mom, because she helped raise him. He’s always been super attached to her, so much so that he goes to her house once a week on Saturday to spend time with her now that we have our own house.

He always counts down the days until he goes there. He talks about her often and tells me how much fun they have. She takes him to fun places that I can’t afford or am to sick to take him to, she gives him her full attention that I can’t because I have other kids to take care of or I need a break. It always makes me feel like he likes her more. Tonight made me feel that way even more when he randomly started crying in bed because he missed her. He was crying uncontrollably and hyperventilating and I couldn’t calm him down. He said “my body just keeps making me cry” in between sobs. I called her and asked her to talk to him because he was scaring me and he immediately calmed down talking to her.

I went to my room after that and started to cry because I know she’s such an amazing mom and I can’t compare. I know how great she is because she was my mom and she truly is an amazing women. She’s a great mom to me and I honestly can’t think of many times she was less than perfect.

I compare myself as a mom to her, and I know I shouldn’t because she just might be a rare breed of human or something and I got so lucky having her as my mom.

I think it bothers me so much because I want to be a good mom and I love my kids so goddamn much but I just never feel like I live up to my expectations. I think I need to spend more time with him and I plan to, but right now I just feel so sad. I wish I was as good at this as her.

Is him being this attached to her an issue or am I just jealous? It seems so extreme to start hyperventilating or having a panic attack because he misses her so much.