I am NOT asking if you ever actually have hit your child. I am saying have you ever been so worked up/frustrated with them that you WANTED TO and had to walk away to compose yourself.

I keep having these feelings towards my 4 year old. He has very severe ADHD and ODD and literally never calms down and never complies or adapts to anything. He does see both a therapist, OT, and psychologist and I do have coping mechanisms but sometimes I get so upset with him that I just want to backhand him. I don’t. So please don’t come for me. But dear god he has tested me this morning. He said “mom I wanna go outside.” I said “sadly we can’t right now because it’s storming. Maybe later after it stops.” He screamed at the top of his lungs, ran over to the Christmas tree, and tore it down. Later he said “I want some cheese sticks”. I said “can you ask me with manners please?” He said “PLEASE give me some cheese sticks.” I looked in the fridge and noticed we were out. I said “I’ll go to Walmart here in a bit and pick some up. I didn’t realize we were out.” He took a fucking swing at me and then bit me in the leg. It’s times like those I just lose my shit and have to walk away and lock myself in a room for a minute. Has anyone ever felt similarly?