I've been waiting for this baby for nearly 13yrs. I was fine. I used to be fine but I'm not anymore. I'm now 37, my youngest adopted is a junior in high school and I've only been mom for 12 years, there's a lot I missed out on before... I've been gaslighted by the bio family, some of them are inlaws... it's been rough. My little family has been wanting this baby for YEARS. I think I'm permanently out and no idea about how to turn off the tears.

I don't feel right or responsible about attempting <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> or getting a hysterectomy, but I don't know how I'd take it if my kids were to get their babies before me... I am not ok. I haven't been ok for awhile. My husband doesn't know how to console me anymore. I feel so empty... I'm not even brushing my teeth and hair on a regular basis anymore. The kind of mental and emotional hurt I physically feel relates to that of an autoimmune disorder.

I want to do <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">iui</a>, I have LOVED homeschooling the two I've been given but I'm not done. My last is about to graduate and then I am free to rejoin the workforce and no longer do the day to day mom thing and it's killing me. My heart hurts and I don't know what to do about it. Everything costs money and I just got hit with another medical bill we weren't expecting cuz insurance isn't as great as we thought so that takes therapy out of the question. I'd rather spend 500.00 on an <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">iui</a> than an unknown on who knows how long it'll take me to be fine... I just hate this. Time is not my friend.