Trigger warning: considering abortion

Just to preface, this is literally the consequences to my own actions & I am highly aware that this, in fact, is what happens when you have unprotected sex 😌😌 my mom already gave me the mom talk. I’m just young & scared tbh.

So I had literally just recently made a post about taking plan Bs, late period & everything. Turns out I am pregnant. I would be happy HOWEVER there are so many cons to going through with this. I’ll give you a list.

- I’m 20, so fucking young. Ive always wanted to have my person to do life with & experience fun things at a young age, but I didn’t imagine that with a baby. He’s 27 & ready to settle down & have a family with someone

- we live together with other roommates and we are roommates & we were just fooling around behind closed doors. We are not dating but if I choose to continue, we would date & then get married eventually.

- I broke up with a year long off/on boyfriend 2 months ago, DAYS before I met this guy & before we started being intimate. I’m still grieving that.

- I cannot support a child on my own at all. I have $50 to my name.

He has reassured me multiple times that he would take care of me & fetus if I choose to give birth. If I choose to do otherwise, he will no longer speak to me. Which is understandable. He believes it is a man’s responsibility to take care of his child & it’s mother. He wants a big family which I do too, but I pictured it being down the line for myself. He has big aspirations that he can still achieve with having a child now. He has a 10 year plan. & a child wouldn’t ruin that for him. I don’t have even a 2 year plan but my life would do a complete flip.

Before I even knew I was pregnant I had been talking to another person to room with, & to move out at the end of this month. I told him that yesterday, didn’t know I am pregnant until today. If I choose to exercise my other choice, I would go home for Christmas break (in WA) & take care of business, come back & move out and just.. go on with life.

The reason I’m having a dilemma is this man could give me the life I’ve dreamt of having. I could be Stay at home mom, I’d require we move back to where I’m from so I can have my family & friends for support. We both live in Florida right now. Do I throw away the chance at having my Family Stone (a fantastic movie that I’ve compared what I want to for years) life or do I toss out the idea of being wild in my 20s. If any of you have ANY advice on what to do, I am opening my heart to it.

I know I will be a fantastic mother at any point in my life, I’ve worked with kids for years, I currently am a nanny to a 7month old. I do want a family for myself, I just didn’t think I’d have to be making this decision at 20. It is the consequences of my/our actions and decisions. I understand that fully. Doesn’t take away the fear I have coursing through my veins. I just don’t know what to do. My life will be very different with either choice I make, do I want a family now or later. I have no clue what i want.