I haven’t ranted for a long time about my bf because he’s actually a good guy and does a lot for me.

But… I’m currently a college student working on a year long thesis that has been consuming a lot of my time and energy. My boyfriend understands this and respects that sometimes I have little free time compared to the amount of free time I had when we first dated. I know he sometimes misses when i used to dedicate all my free time to spending time with him and taking him on fun adventures. With that all said, recently it was our two year anniversary and I made it my mission to make sure I would have that day free from any work so that we could enjoy our 2 year. Unfortunately I found myself a bit disappointed about the effort he put into the plans. It started with him asking me what I wanted to eat for dinner and I got confused because I thought he had made dinner reservation and planned out our anniversary like he had mentioned. That already kind of bothered me because I thought he was going to have a plan instead of doing it last minute and basically having me tell him what to do. The day got a little better when he choose a restaurant and we went there and had a nice dinner. After dinner he mentions that he found a place for us to take a nice romantic walk. I was excited and down but once we got there it was basically at a dock that was labeled by the town as a place where drug addicts go and do their deeds at (no judgement to them I’m just not fond of going there for a 2 year anniversary celebration). During our time there I felt a bit uncomfortable and not going to lie disappointed about his choice to come here without any prior research. It just felt like he randomly found places to go in order to make it seem like he made some plan. By the end of the night I was a bit upset and was honest about wishing that he put more effort into planning our two year anniversary. I honestly would have been happy with just the restaurant at that point. He ended up apologizing and said he would do better for our 3 year anniversary and that he actually liked the plan he made. ( at least someone enjoyed it)

Now another incident that I got upset about was when I had a really bad experience with my thesis project that made me realize I needed a mental break. I told my bf about this and told him how this weekend we should take it as a break and just go out for an adventure. I mentioned that I would plan it out but he then said no that he would do the planning and for me to finish any work needed to have a peaceful weekend. So of course the weekend comes and he did not plan anything… I guess what triggered me the most was I told him that I wanted to eat at a certain place and he did not try to make reservations until a couple hours before we wanted to go, unfortunately they ran out of reservations so we couldn’t go. I just felt like he had a whole week to make those reservations but got lazy about it. Beyond that, he as a whole did not make any plans. I was a bit frustrated and upset but instead of making a big fuss I took it as an opportunity to still get my mental rest. I ended up spending that whole day in bed resting with him. I do appreciate him but I do get sad about the lack of efforts to do romantic stuff with me .

I wish I just made the plans so that we could have done something fun together instead of laying in bed all the time and only watching movies. Plus I just don’t feel the need to be sexual in our relationship anymore. I just don’t want to have sex, I don’t feel the passion to have sex like I used to with him. Sometimes I wonder if he actually did romantic gestures and wanted to go on dates with me that it would spice up our sex life. I know he gets upset about us not having sex and sometimes makes remarks about it but I don’t want to force myself to have sex for his pleasure and not as a consensual thing.

I know we need to communicate about this but I just needed to rant somewhere since I try not to tell people in my personal life about my relationship problems.