I'd like some advice on how to deal with this situation and please no harsh judgements

My husband and I are both 25 and have been together since we were 16. As a teenager I of course wasn't thinking about having a family, settling down, etc. Now that I'm older and he and I are making progress in life and are trying to start finding a more permanent residence and settle down and he's got essentially his dream job, I talked seriously with him about having kids after we move and feel more stable.

I wasn't too shocked to hear him say no. He's been off and on in our relationship where he'll get baby fever, then will have anti-baby fever. But I asked him why he'd feel this way and he said "I'm afraid I won't bond with the child. I'm afraid I'll guide them, raise them, take good care of them and make sure their life is as good as I can make it, but that I won't feel anything cuz I won't bond with them."

I understood in a sense. I've had that worry before too. We both came from very abusive homes and had a lack of parental love and guidance. I would love to have a family of my own though personally.

I love him and want to be with him more than I want to have children, so if it's absolute in the end I won't force him to deal with it. But I was wondering if there was anything I could say to help him with this fear? I don't want to convince him, but maybe put his mind at ease or help him with those thoughts?

I want to make this absolutely clear- I would never do anything that he wasn't 100 percent on, I would never manipulate him into "sort of" wanting to do it, and I'll be fine if he still says no after all this. I just want to know if this is something that I could help with, or if he genuinely would have this issue no matter what(if anyone has had that experience)

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