My parents are very set in their ways. They are also not very involved grandparents. My mom regularly says she wishes to spend more time with her grandson but doesn’t make much effort to see him. They live 3 hrs away so we visit occasionally and they come up maybe 3 times a year.

When we visit my parents cook what they want and we eat it without complaining. When our son goes to bed they put on the next episode of whatever Netflix show they are watching without considering we may not know what is happening or care to watch it.

When they visit at our house they take many smoke breaks out by our fire pit and make sure to vocalize that they don’t want to eat what we’ve chosen for meals. My dad once went out and bought a steak for my husband to cook him bc he wouldn’t eat Salmon we were making. But he eats salmon patties at home. Then I try and put on a movie I think we would like or they would like. Sometimes I’m watching it for the second time.

Basically I feel like we are good hosts to them but they don’t reciprocate that when we visit. Therefore we visit them less often bc of it too. My parents also try and correct things a lot if you aren’t doing something a way they expect it should be done. This has caused my husband to get very mad at them over the years. I don’t know if I’m ready to fully cut them out of our life but it’s heading that direction if they can’t be respectful. They seem to be very self centered and they have always put work and their needs ahead of mine even when I was growing up so I’m not shocked by any of this.

I can’t even voice my emotions or concerns bc my mom says I’m over reacting and never validates my feelings. That would require her to take some form of personal accountability. Am I over reacting? Is this normal behavior?