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He says he wants to focus on something else right now. You need to let him. I know it hurts, but you have to let it go quite a bit. The messages, calls, whatever. Just give him space. If nagging is the problem, then nagging and bugging now isn’t going to make anything better. Leave him be.
Heartbreak
Hey I’ll try not to make this as long… but in my relationship im known for nagging a lot and have a hard time communicating because I’d rather hold things in. I always have a very short temper and would get mad for everything. I know it was dumb, I wasn’t thinking about my actions at all. Couple of days ago we have broken up. I tell him I’m extremely sorry but he said he wants to focus on himself right now. I’m going through heartbreak right now because he knew I loved him so much and I nagged so much because I loved him just that much. I was showing him how much I lovee him in an unhealthy way. I wish I could go back and change things because I’ve learned my lesson and I’ll do anything to let him know how sorry I am. We still keep in touch, not as much; but he lets me know when he made it home , when he made it to work, when he’s about to go to sleep , etc. he said he still cares about me and loves me. But we aren’t together. He doesn’t respond to my msgs as fast as he use to, Im trying so hard to give him space and not bother him. I just miss him.. I miss us. I wish I did things differently , because not only did i hurt him ; but I’ve also hurt myself during the mist of it all. I haven’t seen him in a while. I wish I still have the chance to make things right and I hope he isn’t detaching from me as we are separated right now. Any words of encouragement to make me feel better ? I promise I don’t want to lose him. Just wish I was more mature about things when I had the opportunity.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I’m not sure if this insight will help but my husband and I went through a rough patch where he was really stressed with work and finances a few years ago… HE was the one nagging and honestly being horrible to me. He would criticize, nag, and nitpick every little thing. He would get angry all the time, short fused would just come unglued. So I know what it’s like to be in the shoes your man was in. It’s an enormous blow to someone’s confidence and it really causes deep pain in your heart when someone you love treats you like that. I don’t say any of this to make you feel worse- just to explain that perhaps he’s saying he needs to focus on himself a bit because he’s been so battered that he must rebuild himself a little bit. Again I do not say that to upset or guilt you, I just understand what he means/been where he’s been. And my husband and I got through it! It took a LOT of patient communication from my end, a lot of compassion when I felt anything but compassionate, and the fact that he was willing to change as well as WANTED to be better. He learned better coping methods, dedicated himself to understanding my needs and how to fulfill them rather than tearing me down, and he hasn’t been like that in years despite a lot of crappy stuff life has thrown at us. He’s handled things very well. I’m definitely proud of how he’s grown and changed! You’re willing to do better and want to be better. That’s good. I know it’s hard and it hurts badly, but give him space. Work on yourself so you can show him how different you are next time you see one another. Give him the space he needs to figure things out- including figuring himself out. Don’t smother him. Don’t nag him now. Let him go. And if it’s meant to be, he will come back to you when the time is right. Focus on your own wellness/health so that whether it’s him or someone new, you’ll be in a healthy mindset for the next relationship ❤️
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