I have a kiddo from a previous relationship which is fine great and dandy.

My husband has been very supportive very aware and hands on right from day one with my kiddo - who is officially our kiddo.

Anyways I don’t get along well with his fam jam. They exclude me, don’t talk to me, purposely make plans in such a way where I can’t attend (for example they ask him when we are free and we might say oh Friday but not Saturday because I work until 6 pm and they make the plans for Saturday at 4) that has happened like a dozen times. They ask and we give them our timing and then it gets planned when we can’t go.

The odd time we somehow are able to spend time with his family, they say hi how’s work how’s the kiddo then they all speak Spanish around me and don’t talk to me for the rest of the night. Sometimes my husband or his sister translate but 7/10 times they don’t.

Anyways my sister is expecting a baby and randomly tonight my husband and I were talking about it and he told me he doesn’t want to have kids with me because I don’t make an effort with his family. He then told me to change and do better make an effort and learn the language they speak so I can talk to them more. Where we live it’s an English speaking country. I mean it’s multicultural for sure - but no one is going to Germany and saying hey you guys need to learn a language that I speak. I mean languages are great but I’m not obligated to learn a new language in my English speaking country. Meanwhile his family has been here for like 25-30 years and you know they aren’t telling people around them to speak Spanish. But my husband thinks I’m being selfish for not taking time to learn the language.

And for the record this was never a topic of conversation before we got married - his family just spoke to me in broken English and it was fine before.

Any thoughts ?

***EDIT***

Additional comment from me.

I actually did attempt to learn Spanish a while ago. I purchased little books and dictionaries and used duolingo. I would use my husband to practice (just one on one not in a group setting), ask questions, work on pronouncing things. After two maybe three weeks, he became so angry and frustrated with me. I was genuinely trying and he became really cold and short with me. He said things like “just read your damn book” “watch videos so you can learn” “a toddler could learn this faster than you” “you’re still saying it wrong” “it isn’t my problem that you aren’t getting it” followed by sighs or him just walking away.

So after just a couple of weeks, I gave up. I wasn’t trying for my sake, it was for him. He shot me down - so no I have no desire to learn Spanish and don’t care to waste my time doing something I will just get insulted for