I have known Tom off and on for about sixteen years. We’re in our 30s and I’m married and he is single. We have remained good friends throughout the years and talk often. For the past year I have noticed he is very preoccupied and focused on food in a weird way. He sends me pictures of everything he eats and asks me if it looks healthy. He logs everything he eats into MyFitnessPal, down to a drop of cooking oil. He measures everything he eats as well. Probably the most concerning of it all is his disdain for fatness. He makes a lot of negative remarks towards anyone who is heavier and frequently asks me if I’m going to “get back on track” since having my last baby. I’m only about 30lbs more than I was after having two kids and I’m honestly not worried about it. But Tom is always like “women let themselves go after getting married.” I snapped on him once and was like “how would you know, you’re chronically single because all you care about is looks.” I could tell this hurt his feelings but I was tired of basically being passive aggressively told I’m fat and lazy or something. Recently I tried to sit down and have an adult conversation with him. I said “we have been friends for years and you’re involved in my kids’ lives and I want to ask if you’re okay with the dieting you’re doing.” He is NOT overweight and never has been, but he of course looks different at 36 than he did in his 20s. He told me he simply “doesn’t want to get fat” and this is the only way that he can avoid it. I told him “our bodies and metabolisms change as we get older and gaining some extra weight is not the end of the world. Making healthy choices and remaining active is all that you need to do. You don’t have to be weighing your food and constantly trying to lose weight. There’s more to life.” But he just wouldn’t hear it. Does this sound like an eating disorder to you? I know it’s rare in men but does anyone have any experience with it? Is there anything I can do to help?