Thursday is my ex’s mom funeral and as much I don’t want to go I have to say goodbye 😭 She was a big part of my life since 16 when my dad put me out when I got pregnant. She let me live with her when he put me out she has had my back when he son treated me like shit for years. Granted she didn’t have much money but the love she showed me was more than enough. I’ve been married for almost 4yrs and she still called me her daughter in law. This is the hardest thing ive ever done in my life. Not to mention I have to grit my teeth and bear being around my deadbeat ex. We literally just got into a argument via text 2days ago over child support. He doesn’t have a relationship with my youngest children (10&6) but due to their age im not bringing them. It will just be me and my oldest since he is her oldest grandson and has more memories than my other kids. I’ve never lost anyone this close to me and it’s hard to grieve at home so ive been drinking to cope with the pain.