I was about 3 days before my due date I sat up in bed for the 3rd time because my hip was killing me when my water broke at 11:30 PM, but it was just barely seeping at that point. I woke my husband up and called everyone and we honestly just kinda walked around and got the rest of our things packed that we couldn’t before without any rush since contractions either hadn’t started or I just hadn’t noticed them since all I had been feeling were what felt like period cramps. My last OB visit was earlier that week and I was already dilated to about 3-4 cm so we weren’t surprised. We made it to the hospital and checked into the OB department and they tested to see if my membranes had ruptured which came back positive and they admitted me at about 12:20 AM. The poor lady had such a hard time getting an IV in me because my veins kept rolling around and they eventually had to stick it in the back of my hand 🤢😬. Normally that would gross me out but it was more annoying than anything. We finally got brought into a room and they gave me a yoga ball since I said I wanted a natural birth and kept telling me every hour or so to walk so that’s what I did my husband did too and neither of us got any rest. Then they checked me every so often with very little progress. We waited and waited and waited. Family came in and out, we walked the halls, tried to fit in naps while we could, and I couldn’t eat anything but ice and popsicles so I was STARVING. By about 1 PM I was given antibiotics since I had been in labor for about 18 hours and was stalled at 3 cm 50% effacement and they let me eat and man that hospital turkey and mashed potatoes at the time was literally like the best thing I had ever eaten. After I ate they induced me with Cytotec and I had to lay there with my pelvis in the air for about 30 minutes which was kind of nerve racking because I hate taking any kind of medication but it was either take that and see if labor will happen on its own or take pitocin and I’ve heard that it makes contractions much more painful. So then I was determined to get labor going and I walked the halls again for a few more hours and I actually needed to stop and let each contraction pass until around I think it was 6 PM we got back to the room and I was about to get into bed when I felt like I couldn’t move. I had to brace myself against the bed rail for what felt like the most intense period cramps I’d ever felt and each one got worse and with very little break in between. the nurses came in and helped me get into bed when I rolled onto my side and dry heaved a few times. By then my older sister was freaking out because she’s never seen anyone go into labor before and a bucket got shoved in my face and all I could do was hold onto it because I felt like I couldn’t move and I remember my husband standing in front of me and with each contraction I grabbed at his hands for some kind of relief but there was none. There was nothing but the pain that couldn’t be suppressed. By then my natural birth plans went straight out the window as I begged for pain meds and an epidural. I tried lying on my back but back labor was literally unbearable so I just laid on my left side as still as I possibly could. I physically could not talk or even say a simple yes or no I barely could nod or shake my head because I was so focused I couldn’t focus on what anyone was saying. I laid there thinking “when are they going to give me the pain meds?” And they checked me again and I was shocked that I was still at 4 cm but effaced to 75% by then I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to do it since the pain was this bad at only 4 cm. What felt like maybe 5-10 minutes later my body suddenly started pushing EXTREMELY hard on its own and my water started gushing endlessly and I felt like a deflating water balloon. With every push it literally felt like my anus was prolapsing and I’m pretty sure I pooped because I felt someone wiping me 😳. All I could do was squeak out “I’m pushing” and the nurses at the side of my bed were like “no! Don’t push you’ll rip your cervix” and I got checked again and I was 10 cm and fully effaced. Finally the anesthesiologist made it up to my room with the epidural but it was already too late and he was told to get out 😂. From then I was rolled onto my back with my feet put in the stirrups and was told to hold on since my OB was on his way and I remember one of the nurses was like “this is her first baby!?” And all the nurses being impressed but at that point I felt like a zombie and didn’t care about anything except what was happening to my body. From what I was told after delivery my OB whipped into the parking lot, hit the curb, didn’t park straight, left his truck on, and ran all the way into my room 😅😂. By the time he got there I was almost crowning and I think there were like 10 or 15 nurses in my room and they were all running around me and holding my legs and my feet and one nurse ready to catch. With the last few contractions I was told to tuck my chin, hold my breath, and push as hard as I could for at least 10 seconds and by the end of each push I could barely make it to 10. My OB asked if I wanted to touch my sons head and I said no because all I wanted to do was hold him and get this pain over with. With the last push I felt him slide out (one of the weirdest feelings I’ve ever felt) and a tidal wave of relief washed over me as the pain instantly ceased and I heard my son’s cries. I saw him lifted up by the nurses and wrapped up immediately and he was placed into my arms. I remember his bright pink skin and white globs all over his wrinkled face and body but to me he was beautiful. The nurses took him to measure him and I laid back exhausted listening to my son crying which at that point was the best sound in the world. He weighed 6 lbs, 12 oz, and was 20 in long and was very healthy. My OB asked if I wanted lidocaine to stitch me up since I had a 2nd degree tear and I said yes. No more pain please. All I could think of was “not doing that again without an epidural.” Suddenly the room got really fuzzy and I couldn’t focus and my tongue felt really weird. I said I felt really really dizzy and a nurse stayed by my side to monitor me. My husband bent down and told me our son was born in 25 minutes but to me it all felt like 5. It was the only time in my life that time felt like it didn’t exist. There was only the present moment and nothing else. Nurses and doctors came in and out and the room shook and spun. I couldn’t focus on anything. For a while it felt like someone kept hitting the skip button or I would doze off every 5 minutes without sleeping. I remember people talking to me, but not remembering what they were saying or I was unable to process any words and I just replied “okay” like I recognized the words but at the same time I had no idea what they were saying like they were talking too fast or something. Occasionally I’d wake up and someone would ask me if I was ready to hold my son and I said no because I could barely see anything to do so. I was so scared to drop him during my blank spells. It was about 7 PM when I could finally focus again and my husband had been holding our son the entire time not wanting to let him go (which was adorable). I felt so guilty for not holding him right away because of the extreme dizziness and I still feel like I was robbed of bonding time. I felt like I didn’t get that wonderful heart bursting love experience that I’ve heard so many moms have had when holding their child for the first time after birth. It was the weirdest thing he felt like he was my son but also someone else’s baby at the same time like I hadn’t quite processed that he was mine and I feel bad about it. One of the nurses helped me set him up for his first nursing session. He was so tiny. I remember just one of my breasts was twice the size of his head! I remember him suckling for a little bit and then dozing and going back to suckling. It was one the sweetest moments ever. Our family came in to see us before going back home and I slept maybe an hour or two and ended up watching our son wriggle and my husband sleep with my tit hanging out trying to process what had just happened. One of the night shift nurses came in periodically to check on us and I was completely unashamed that I was sitting there in the bed with my boob fully out while she came in. Thinking back I wish I would’ve covered up a little but at that moment there wasn’t anything that could embarrass me. I had given birth to my first baby without any pain meds in a total of 25 minutes with only 13 minutes of pushing. It all felt like a dream. I was exhausted but so fired up at the same time. I don’t know if we’ll decide to have another baby, I guess we’ll just have to see 🤷‍♀️.