**Not really sure where to post this**

For full disclosure I would just like to say that this happened 5+ years ago;

When I was about 16 years old I started dating an 18 year old who went to a different high school from me. He had gone back for a “grade 13” to get some extra credits because he changed his mind about what collage course he wanted to take, he was working a full-time job (he only had classes from 9am-11:30am), he had his own vehicle and even had helped his parents renovate and rent the basement of their house.

His mom and I became very close as my own other was very distant and didn’t want to “deal” with me. This guy and I had been seeing each other for just over a month when I noticed that my period was late, we had only ever had sex once without a condom and I was on birth control. I couldn’t talk to my friends about it because they weren’t having sex and had very strict parents so one day after school I went over to his place and spoke with his mom; she was a nurse. I explained that I couldn’t talk to my mom about what was going on and I was quite frankly scared, my period had never been late before- she was so calm and explained that it could be stress, if I had changed medications recently, it could be from my birth control etc. she got me a pregnancy test and I took it with her and it was negative relived she told me to make sure we were more careful going forward but if I was ever worried to just let her know.

Later that night I received a frantic call from my boyfriend asking when I was gonna tell him I was pregnant and he sent me a photo of my pregnancy test that I had thrown out and there was two lines, I was so shocked I called his mom but couldn’t get ahold of her. Almost a week went by before I was able to speak with his mom as she was on night shifts and before I could even explain what was going on she told me that whatever I had said to him changed him; he was picking up more shifts, following curfew, helping look after his brother and around the house more. I finally told her that he called and said that he found the test and it was positive- she explained that maybe we hadn’t waited the full time and told me we could do another test but that I was pregnant.

Him and I started planning our future together after that, everyday at lunch he’d pick me up and would bring me some sort of lunch along with my prenatal vitamins, we were planning how we were going to tell his dad and my parents about the baby. A couple weeks passed, and I was about 8 weeks pregnant- I kept reading about early pregnancy symptoms and I wasn’t having any, concerned i went to his mom and asked if we could do another test, she said yes and advised that I see my doctor to confirm the pregnancy and to do an ultrasound etc. I did a digital pregnancy test and it said “Not Pregnant” I was shocked and in tears I wondered when I had lost my baby or if I had been pregnant at all, she comforted me and admitted that the test my boyfriend had found was in fact negative and that it had something called an indent line, that all this time I had not infact been pregnant, she said she was so impressed with how my boyfriend was acting that she didn’t want to tell the truth. In the state i was in she somehow convinced me to not tell him and to go along with it, she said she would pay me $100 a week to go along with it. I only went on with it for three more weeks before my period had finally returned and I used it as an excuse, I told him I had a miscarriage and we separated soon after because I couldn’t hold onto the guilt.

Now as an adult my husband and I are struggling with ttc (two years now) and I feel like it’s Karam getting back at me for something I did at 16

**EDIT; my partner and I have been ttc for 2 YEARS, I have not been on birth control in approximately 3/4 YEARS.