I’m 21 and a mom of a 3 1/2 yr old and 8 month old. I love my girls and I try my best to be calm but sometimes I get irritated I’m with them 24/7 their dad help after 7 when he gets home but just for a hr or two before they go to sleep n I only have alone time for like 1 hr before I sleep bc my 8 month old wakes up 3/4 times a night so I get up and my bf gets up once at 5am to feed her before he goes to work at that time. I feel so tired I also have epilepsy and take medication which makes me feel even more tired. I can’t go outside it’s too cold here so we’re inside all day and my toddler even says she gets bored but idk what to do I let her use her tablet and she plays with her toys with baby but my baby gets irritated and cries a lot if I’m not holding her.. I clean up basically all day because I hate seeing it a mess so I don’t even spend a lot of time playing with my daughter. I feel so bad. Idk if I should put her in daycare I qualified for free daycare for her but I’m scared she will get these illnesses going around and then bring it to her sister too.. I feel like such a bad mother not spending enough time getting irritated sometimes I yell at them for making a mess at my toddler I try to remind myself a mess can be cleaned up but when I was little my family would get mad at me making a mess or spank us. I try my best to be better but it’s super hard. I try being gentle and have patience but sometimes I snap and yell or tell her ima spank you if you don’t listen and then I feel so bad 😢 especially at night when she’s asleep I cry sometimes because during the day I’ll yell once or twice.. I don’t beat her btw I don’t even spank her I just tell her I will and she says mommy are you mad? I’m like I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have yelled. Any advice on what I should do I feel bad and feel like I don’t spend time with them. Also I’m trying to work bc my bf isn’t making much money now so I feel even worse knowing I might have to put them in daycare or my toddler if I get a wfh job my baby Dan stay but my toddler will have to go to daycare 😢😢😢😢😢