I am trying to be forgiving to myself but I need advice on how to wean myself off of welbutrin. I made a doctors appointment for next week about what’s going on. But that still means I have a week to deal with this.

I was on welbutrin in highschool and I THOUGHT I did well on it. I do better with my depression even to this day, but it makes me an ASS. My mom had me on the depo shot, adderall (probably spelled that wrong) and welbutrin. I was crazy as shit and had memory loss, rage issues, and felt insane. I contributed that to the depo shot almost entirely because that shot tore me apart. I bled for 6 months, had hair loss and hot flashes. I begged her to take me to at least change it but she listened to the doctor “let your body adjust.” And I just continued to suffer. My mom wasn’t worried ab me getting pregnant, I have endo and she was trying to help but I was in hell. I didn’t get control of that until I had control over what doctors I went to.

Anyways, I am on Wellbutrin again. And I can FEEL myself being hateful which is really out of character for me. I am not 16 anymore I am 26, and I am not a mean or nasty person but yet it’s like when I speak hear venom in my tone. And I’m trying to tell everyone I am not consciously putting that tone or attitude behind my words, like I cannot explain how much it’s not even me. I will speak intended with the correct tone and it’s like someone else spoke it with venom. I look and act pissed off when I’m not.

I’m not talking much anymore to anyone because unless you’ve been on medication that alters brain chemistry, it’s hard to understand how one little pill can make you an ASSHOLE.

I am grown! There’s no excuse for this. But if I even miss a dose of Wellbutrin I am hit so hard with a migraine that almost put me in the hospital begging for relief. I took my welbutrin and it suddenly went away. So there’s that, and I don’t remember how I got off it in highschool. Everyone’s telling me I can’t just stop taking it I have to wean.

How do I do that! It’s a tiny pill and it’s 150 mg. I am so lost like do I cut it in half? Into tiny pieces?

Also if you’ve dealt with an antidepressant or any other psych meds please help me feel valid about this because it’s really messing with me that I have no control over this and I feel like I am making excuses for myself even though I KNOW what’s in my heart and mind and I know I’m not intentionally trying to be mean to anyone.

I have just been telling anyone “I am reacting negatively to an antidepressant and it’s making me a butthole, I am aware of that and I apologize and I’m trying to figure out how to get off.”