My cousin is very sweet, but a clueless guest. Her son is 7, autistic, and very destructive. He throws toys and anything he can reach, runs around banging off walls, slams doors, jumps on the furniture, and struggles with using the bathroom. He often has pee accidents because he gets so caught up in playing, and sometimes he will wipe poo on walls, towels, the shower curtain... You get the idea. Her reaction is always that "He's autistic. It can all be fixed or cleaned." She doesn't do anything to fix things though, nor does she offer to pay for things he destroys.

She really wants to visit me with her son. She lives over 4 hours away and would need to stay overnight too. I don't want to have her over because her son has broken practically everything in her home. I don't want him to break anything in mine, and I just do not have the energy to constantly monitor him. Plus, she doesn't attempt to stop his behavior or in any way redirect him. She visited my parents last Christmas, and he punched their TV (and broke it) and she will not pay for a replacement. She made him apologize and that was that.

I don't know what to say to her without sounding rude or hurting her feelings. I just do not want her over. Please help!