I’m so depressed im not pregnant for Christmas day

Two miscarriages this year and thought I could of had an happy ending this year for Christmas but no!!!! 😭 Can feel cramps and AF due in a day and I have been so emotional crying the last few days and I’m so depressed today knowing AF is coming. I never have felt this way in my past pregnancies but im never this emotional before AF I took a test negative! I just want to be pregnant again.