I'm not far into my pregnancy but before being pregnant I suffered with depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder. This was an unplanned pregnancy and very much a surprise (was told I couldn't have babies at age 13 when my first cyst popped up).

Now that I'm pregnant, I am suffering. Everyday I am filled with guilt, anger, and sadness for thoughts like, "This will forever ruin my body and I will never be skinny again." or, "I'm not going to be a good mom anyway, I don't get why I need to take care of myself."

I feel like no one understands, they all think I should just be happy to have a life growing inside of me considering I was told it wasn't possible. I am happy, don't get me wrong, but I wish I could have one of those pregnancies you hear about where they didn't know until they were nearly 8 months along because they didn't gain weight or grow a belly. Which then again leads to guilt for thinking that way because I should just be happy that so far, both of us are healthy.

My mood has been really bad though and severely affected by these thoughts. I am constantly starting fights with my boyfriend and everyone in my family, my mood shifts/drops in an instant, and I am pushing everyone away. I have another OB appt on the 28th where I plan to talk to her about these feelings. I just don't know what else to do, I feel so alone and it's my own fault.