Why?????

Question

Why is it every single time I try to have a talk with my husband about how I feel, it turns into the biggest argument? It gets flipped all on me, and how I made him feel for bringing up my feelings about something?
I'm about to the point of just shutting tf down...

Answer

He has poor coping skills and some deep issues that he's turning back on you. I highly suggest couples and individual therapy.

Answer

I understand you completely as this happens to me when I try to express my emotions, viewpoints, perceptions about things, I'm always being told I'm wrong and I get blamed for triggering him with his PTSD so it always gets turned around back at me 😔... I'm well aware he has a mental illness as do I and I too have PTSD from an 18 year abusive marriage now divorced but I don't always blame him! I have made posts on here asking why he's assuming he's always right and me always wrong, he's basically a narcissist who is trying to remain in control and is emotionally abusive.. (my boyfriend) and it makes me feel so degraded, defeated, useless, worthless etc... We're seriously considering couples therapy to try to make this relationship work, been 2 years and we have 7 month old twins. We both already do individual therapy but still struggle with communication at times so couples therapy may help us and you too in your situation as there's some communication issues occuring most likely. Good luck with everything, sorry so long trying to let you know I feel ya, going thru it right now. Hugs

Answer

It could be a communication issue. ￼People tend to get defensive when they are being told everything they are doing wrong. Make sure you are not doing that and tell him your actual emotions about a situation instead and what you need to fix it. For instance… ￼I am feeling unloved and in order to fix that I need XYZ. I am feeling unhappy and in order to fix that, I need XYZ. Then ask him if he's willing to do those things. If he's willing, great… You both work on it. If he's unwilling, then you might not be compatible.

Why?????

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