Is it unreasonable to decline all dinner invitations bc of my baby’s bedtime schedule?

Question

Edit- the dinner I agreed to is also at my mom’s house so I can ask to eat earlier but it’s ultimately up to my mom when food is served 
I posted earlier about how my mom invited us for Christmas eve dinner last night, promised we’d eat around 6pm but in reality dinner was not served until 9pm (we left at 8pm to get our baby to bed, he’s 4 months old and going through a rough patch of terrible sleep) so we ended up eating nothing for the 5 hours we were there. For many reasons this made me not want to go to a dinner at my parents house ever again, because they always say we’ll eat ‘early’ (they consider 5 or 6pm early) but it never ever happens and my husband and I are always in an awkward spot of either walking out half way through the meal or keeping the baby up past bedtime (& then he becomes a hysterical mess and sleeps terribly bc he’s overtired/overstimulated). 
I already (last week) agreed to dinner next week for my sister’s bday. She’s in town for 2 weeks from a few states away.  My exact words were that I’d definitely go to dinner. So I’m wondering if I need to stick to that or can I just tell everyone we’re not doing any more dinner events? Is that unreasonable of me? I would gladly do a breakfast or bunch on a weekend day. And I’d have them over at my house but I live an hour away and they don’t like to do the drive.

Answer

No you’re not unreasonable for declining dinner invites since you know they won’t be on time. 
Yes I personally would chose to attend all my holiday family events despite my kids bedtime, one night of possible bad sleep isn’t going to kill you or your husband or your baby. Making memories with my family is worth it. Im currently rocking my 2 month old to sleep, 2 hours after her bedtime and my other two are falling asleep right now 4 hours after their bedtime but they’ll be FINE. Christmas at grandmas was fantastic. 
PS: you’ve read many many responses to your situation over the many times you’ve posted about it. Do what you wanna do and move on. Your family will have to accept it.

Answer

I usually personally think posts around this premise are semi unreasonable, but I think it isn’t unreasonable in this case. I’d be pretty pissed off if someone invited me over for dinner and then took 3 hours to make it. You probably go over hungry to eat the dinner and then you have to wait, make your hungry kid wait, and then stay that late? That’s way too late.

Answer

Invite them to your house or say you can’t go unless it’s befor xx time. If they wanna see the baby, they will. If they don’t, they won’t. Once you have children, it’s not your responsibility to get your children to places for other people to see them.

Answer

My daughter is almost 3 and I'm still strict with her sleep hours and being home. Major holidays are the only days I bend bedtime because at the end of the day, I have to get my overly sleepy, screaming toddler to bed. I am picky where, I sleep as in I will not sleep well if the circumstances aren't just right (cool, box fan, just a quilt with no top sheet) so I wouldn't put her in a situation I wouldn't put myself into. Call me spoiled, idc 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe start hosting dinners at your home if possible or flat out tell your family you cannot attend unless it's before baby's bedtime.

Answer

Not unreasonable. My husband and I plan everything around our babies nap and nighttime sleep. We won’t commit to anything that goes past 5pm we have 2 under 2 and honestly we both prefer to be home with them then having them out so we really don’t care about not being social lol. Do what makes you happy and don’t care too much about what every one else thinks. If they can’t commit to eating dinner at the time they told you then in my opinion it is not rude to leave. Why chance getting your baby over tired

Answer

I personally wouldn’t, the odd dinner invitation’s accepted and the occasional deter from a baby/child’s bedtime isn’t gunna cause issues.  But if you feel that strongly then you do what you want to do.  Xx

Answer

I may be the odd one out but i don’t personally see an issue with one night being off schedule. I would rather make memories and enjoy that time with family, but i would be annoyed at 9 pm dinner. That’s excessive.

Answer

Nope. My first priority is my child. Messing up his sleep routine means trouble for us all. I’m not willing to compromise on what I know is best for my child, holiday or not. People can get upset at me if they want to if I decline an invite. Doesn’t bother me one bit to know I’m choosing what’s best for my family.

Answer

Not unreasonable at all! Routines are important!

Answer

I don’t believe it’s unreasonable, babies need to have a schedule to sleep better. My sister has strict bed time rules (for day sleep as well) for her son who is almost 3 now. All her friends and we as her family know. She can hang out in the morning 9-12pm and then once my nephew is awake from his nap from 4-8pm. And if she goes to birthday dinners, friends events her husband stays with the child and puts him to bed and vise versa and obviously have babysitters or our parents stay with him if they go to events together. Our parents always respected that and we have learned to have family celebrations around the schedule.

Is it unreasonable to decline all dinner invitations bc of my baby’s bedtime schedule?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey