I don’t really care how other people feel, but me personally, I would feel like I failed if my kids feared me

Parents are supposed to be the one true safe space. Fearing your safe space seems like it would cause some significant trauma to a person. What’s the point to having children fear their parents? They have so many other things to fear that are legitimate like strangers that cause harm, accidents that cause injury, the list would go on and on. So why cause even more fear in a child? I think that parents that do this and believe in this are irresponsible, careless, just plain ignorant and all that goes with that.

I want my kids to be scared to do something rude or dangerous. I want them to know that there WILL be consequences of their actions, and I’m not afraid to enforce that. But scared of ME, as in scared I’ll hurt them? No! Although I’m definitely there to lay down the law before I’m there to be their buddy. That doesn’t mean we don’t play together, it just means that I’m the authority figure in the house and so is their father.

No absolutely not. Not that type of fear. But I cooked yes and I’ll explain. The fear I’m referring to is being HESITANT on talking back bc you’ll know you’ll get called out for it , maybe even sent to your room. Fear in misbehaving. If your kid knows not to do something BEFORE doing it .. they won’t do it bc they fear the consequences for their actions they’ve known MOT to do so they fear the discipline / punishment. Fear is not listening/ doing what u want when u want .. if kids KNOW this ^ they’ll behave as correctly bc they don’t want to get disciplined for it. Fear in making sure that I behaved in school. I did my homework. I made sure that my mother got my report cards when they gave them each quarter. Discipline can go a long way as to time out or being sent to your room. Not being able to go outside. Having your toys / electronics taken away. No tv time. Going to bed early. Getting yelled at. Getting popped. A belt. A flip flop. No friends allowed over or you aren’t allowed to go to a certain event / friend event. Etc things of that nature. No discrimination/ racism bull crap but Black people will understand what I’m saying. I’m a 90s baby. That speaks a lot in my thoughts and chosen words for this post. So yes I feared my parent. Not THAT type of fear of course. But I did have fear because I didn’t like punishment o wanted my things. I wanted to go outside to have time to myself. I wanted to have friends over or go over friends house. so I never misbehaved. I did as told. I never talked back. (I did sometimes , but) I did get disciplined/ punishment for certain things.

No! Never! If they fear their parents, the won’t trust them. I feared my mother and now I’m in therapy for years of abuse I suffered. I want my children to trust me and be comfortable with me at all times. No child should fear their parent or any caregiver.

I will always try my hardest to be a warm, safe, comfortable place for my son and any other children I may have. Parents should be a safe place, the people children feel the most comfortable with and the people they can be themselves with. My son feels safe with me, and knows he can come to me whenever he needs me…he wouldn’t feel that way if he was scared of me. And I’d have failed him and as a parent if that were the case.

Ahhh I bumped the wrong one!!! I meant no

I feared my father but I knew he loved me. I had a healthy respect for him I just didn’t want to step out of place around him. I didn’t want to do anything wrong. I think being terrified of a parent is totally different I knew my dad wouldn’t get angry for no reason out of no wear. If your child is yelling no at you and hitting and kicking you there is no respect/ no fear. I don’t want children that think they can treat me like that.