My friend from college, Megan, is a very smart girl. I went to Boston University and she went to Harvard. We met at a tattoo place in Cambridge. That was almost 10 years ago.

She married her high school sweet heart, Brian. I hadn’t met Brian until their wedding, which happened after we both graduated and moved to different states. Megan was teaching school at a prestigious private school in Manhattan. Brian lived in Yonkers and managed a Walmart. When I met Brian, I hate to say it, but I thought he was trash; NOT because he worked at Walmart, but because of his behavior.

At the bachelorette party (weekend before wedding in ‘15), Megan was crying almost the entire night because Brian insisted on going to a strip club for his bachelor party, which Megan had told him time and time again that she wasn’t ok with. He basically lied to her and said he wouldn’t go, only for one of the bridesmaids to show her his Snapchat story — he was motor boating a stripper.

I honestly hated him from that point on — not because of that one-off incident, but because of the next 8 years of total bullshit I’d hear about this son of a bitch.

Megan got pregnant with Brian’s son super quickly and Brian immediately demanded she quit her job. She seemed happy about it, but that wasn’t the Megan I knew. She also became extremely religious, which was in stark contrast from the Megan I knew in college too. I supported her, but definitely felt confused as to why she switched up like that.

Soon, insecurity started to consume Megan. She called me hysterically crying one night (it was 3am her time, midnight my time), saying she caught him exchanging naked pictures via Instagram with girls that Megan knew from high school. One of those girls was actually at her bridal shower, so it really pissed me off. This kept happening, or she’d catch him masturbating to someone they knew on instagram, or she’d catch him masturbating to tik tok, or she’d catch him planning meetups with women… a couple of years ago she even found his Hinge account.

Last month (November ‘22) she caught Brian playing with his dick over some girl they both knew, or something like that. I honestly have heard so many brian stories, I can’t remember which thing he did. Whatever it was, he ended up getting so pissed off that he slapped his own son for crying while they were fighting. She told me she was done with him once after he smacked their kid, and I was so proud of her. I planned a trip for the two of us and our kids in Catalina Island to cheer her up and she was stoked.

The day she and her son were supposed to fly out, she went ghost. I called her like 10 times because I was actually really worried. I’d purchased her ticket and it wasn’t like her to flake like that, especially given I’d paid. It was one of the worst days of my life because I spent that entire day and night panicking that they’d gotten into a serious accident. I reached out to mutual friends and eventually one contacted her mother.

Where was Megan? At home fighting with Brian about the trip. She finally called me the day after, hysterically crying, saying she’d caught him cheating. I was pretty pissed off and didn’t have a ton of sympathy. I told her that she’s in an abusive relationship and I’m starting to lose respect for her as a mother. What kind of mother keeps their child in a situation like that? I also told her that it’s utter bullshit that she can’t return to work and support herself, which was her excuse for staying with Brian.

I didn’t speak to her after that. It was becoming so toxic for me to have her in mine/my family’s life, that I just blocked her number. On Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> morning, she called my husband begging to talk to me because it was an emergency. I picked up the phone and she was crying again. She told me that Brian didn’t give her any money for Christmas presents, but she didn’t want her son to have an empty tree on Christmas, so she didn’t know who to ask but me. I told her I wouldn’t do it unless she left Brian. She hung up on me and that was that.

My husband was supportive of my reaction to Megan’s call, but my mom thinks I’m being wayyyy too harsh because there’s a child involved. My mom said “you have the money! Isn’t this child’s Christmas more important than the frivolous things you guys buy for yourselves?”

I still don’t think I owe this person anything and although I honestly worry deeply about her child, if I’m gonna do anything to help him, I’d rather call DCF than send his mother money that isn’t even guaranteed to go to the child.