I want to start out by saying that my best friend struggles a lot with self esteem and anxiety. For context, she’s in her 30s and never had a relationship because she’s scared of any type of rejection. She’s been in therapy and on mental health medicine for years. She has a lot of trauma and issues. So I am VERY sensitive and gentle with her and careful with my words. She is a good person and we’ve known each other for decades. Now, one thing she struggles with is envy. It unfortunately is not her best personality trait but she likes to shit-talk others behind their backs. It makes her feel better I guess, because her self esteem is SO low.

So… my husband got a job offer this morning, that is definitely a step up in the world for us. On top of that, I recently found out that a manuscript I have been working on for the past three years is going to be published. We are ringing in the New Years positively abundantly and I’m so happy and proud of all our hard work.

I cannot talk to my best friend about things like this because she becomes very envious and withdrawn from me. I legitimately have stopped mentioning anything positive in my life because of it. So these are pretty two major life events… but I have decided not to tell her and kind of just want her to find out on her own and deal with it on her own as well. I feel like I have to hide it so she doesn’t feel like I am bragging or something. Am I wrong for this? Should I tell her? Please remember she is mentally ill… I don’t blame her for being so envious of others when she is in such a low spot herself. She became extremely ugly when a mutual friend of ours got engaged, and she did not even come to my wedding in 2018. She gets very very withdrawn when good things happen to others, I guess because she feels like it “can’t” happen to her. It’s complex.

Anyway. TLDR. Am I wrong for not telling her?