I have a weird dating history. I dated someone who was 18 when I was 15 for 6-7 months(?) and he sexually assaulted me. Then I dated someone who was 20 when I was 16 for 4 1/2 years and had two kids with him. He turned out to be highly abusive in every single way. Surprisingly, HE left ME and I actually wanted him to stay… It’s been 7 months since then. I’ve tried dating someone but it didn’t last long and I could just tell right away that I didn’t love him and that it wouldn’t work out. I also lost feelings when he started to ask to be left alone with my kids. He turned out to be verbally abusive and overall crazy. I’m single and staying single for a little. I think I just need to focus on myself and my kids. I don’t want to miss out on their childhood by possibly getting roped into yet *another* abusive relationship. I broke up with my most recent ex about a month ago now and it’s the longest I’ve been single since I was 15. And, I’m really embarrassed about it, but I think I still miss my ex. I don’t know if it’s because of how long we were together or the whole “I miss who I thought he was thing” but I do. But I also know before anything else that I can’t go back, thankfully I don’t think he’d even want to lol, because he has threatened and attempted to kill me and has hurt my kids. I got a restraining order, partly because I knew it would ruin any chance of going back, since I knew he would be too scared of me going to cops if he hurt me again. But then I also remember all the times he scared me and how he abandoned “our kids” completely so many times, even before the split, (he always left and then came back days later) and I feel stupid for feeling this way. Even his own friends said I would always be the girl he tried to come back to but I know I can’t. Is this all normal feelings even after 7 months?