Hi all

I had my third baby two weeks ago and the truth is that I have been having thoughts about quitting breastfeeding even though I breastfed my others until they were 3 years old.

She was born big (4,57kg) and hasn’t reached birth weight yet (4,54 today). I am writing this now as she is sleeping on my chest, not interested in breastfeeding at all… I spend all my day counting her feeds, hand massaging and compressing for her to get enough. But she isn’t! She gains something like 10-15grams a day when she should be gaining double that. In the meantime, I feel like a terrible mom to my other two, constantly pushing them away or rushing in my interactions with them. I don’t go out of the house so I won’t miss a feed when she is interested and all this experience makes me resentful to breastfeeding.

She is otherwise a calm baby that loves snuggles and is often alert and willing to exercise on tummy time a few times a day, has 6 wet diapers a day and one soiled so the health visitor is not even suggesting formula yet, but said that we will check again in a week how she is doing and maybe start pumping… I want some of my life back though and dread the idea of a prolonged period of worrying about if she is gaining enough or not.