My baby is 5 months old and I exclusively breastfeed him and do the overnight shifts (he wakes up every few hours either to eat or some other reasons) during the week. On Friday and Saturday nights my husband is on night duty but he gives me the baby to feed him twice each night.

I’m a stay at home mom and all of the childcare and house cleaning and cooking is my responsibility. Except when my husband comes home he stays with the baby so I can cook and clean. There is no downtime except for when we have company over at which time I catch up on cleaning or food shopping.

Anyway, before bed every night I prepare the room. I make the bed so the sheets aren’t all tangled up, I diaper and dress our baby, feed him, sing to him and put him to bed. I make sure to have water or tea for myself for the middle of the night feedings. After baby goes to bed I go upstairs to do the dishes and clean up the house so I don’t have to do it the next day.

My husband does bath time with our baby every other night, showers, and goes to bed.

I always forget to bring a burp cloth to bed. Our baby spits up sometimes after eating and I never have a burp cloth handy. With everything else I’m doing I just forget. So when he spits up in the middle of the night, I’m scrambling to find something to mop it up with, in the dark while it’s seeping into our mattress. It’s so frustrating. I asked my husband if he can please take the responsibility of making sure we have a burp cloth on the night stand. He agreed.

Last night it happened again, baby spit up, no burp cloth, it was a lot & I asked my husband for the burp cloth. He just sat there for a second and I was like ok if we don’t have a burp cloth just give me any blanket. Reasoning being I can wash a blanket easily but if the milk seeps into the mattress, it’s going to be a big deal to clean it out. He’s just fumbling around for what seems like forever while I’m trying not to wake the baby up by getting up to help him look for any blanket or towel. Finally he says he doesn’t know what to do, goes across the house to the laundry room to get a towel and comes back and gives it to me. Then he lays back down to go back to sleep, while I’m fumbling with holding our baby, trying to find the spit up spot, removing the top sheet from the bed and soaking it up. I said something like ‘are you really not going to help me?’ And he freaked out. He said ‘well what do you want me to do????’ And I said idk maybe help me take the sheet off and clean the spill? If you’re not going to help then just go away because you’re stressing me out. So he says FINE I’ll go away, what a great way to start our Saturday. And huffs off, slams the door behind him leaving me with the baby, spilled milk and bed with half the sheets off. I’m extra frustrated because he micromanages every purchase I make so I never bought a mattress protector so I know the mattress will become soiled. But he doesn’t think about all of this because he’s not the one who needs to maintain a clean house so it doesn’t affect him.

Baby never went back to sleep so I went and made breakfast and coffee for myself. I didn’t make anything for my husband bc I was mad at him. He spent the morning outside and we literally haven’t spoken since. It’s now 11am. I’m just so over him and my days are so much easier when he goes to work and I’m alone with our baby. I feel so gross about the whole thing.