I was in a long term relationship (10 years) and had four children. We did want more as always wanted a big family, but after trying for four years towards the end it never happened.

In may of last year I had to end it as I wasn’t happy anymore and I never realised what a controlling and unhealthy relationship it was but I don’t regret the beautiful children I had.

I met someone at the end of august who I really felt a connection with.

We kept it between ourselves and just enjoyed every minute.

After being unwell and on antibiotics etc I was late on my period this month. I did a test even though I never believed in a million years it would ever happen, especially after the 4 years previous. it was positive. I felt sick and scared and still do.

I told him straight away and everything changed.

He said he didn’t want more kids.

He tried taking me for an abortion there and then.

He told me he’s not ready for any of this (including now me)

He has a son and he said I already have four kids I don’t need any more.

He has basically said if I don’t have an abortion it will ruin his life and I have no choice.

I never planned for this to happen and it’s definitely not the right time etc but it never is.

But I can’t help feel something for this baby already and I just don’t know what to do :(

I’m literally heartbroken 😔