I don’t think he really cares bc he’s so wushu washy.

So i didn’t know the guy long we dated and within our first sexual encounter we got pregnant. He joked about it saying he was gone get me pregnant etc. I feel he planned this. I didn’t realize I was so caught up in a good time that he was getting me lit. I came prepared though as I keep condoms. He admitted later to removing it sometime during intercourse and cumming in me three times days later. I’ve been dealing with PCOS and have had difficulty getting pregnant and was so shocked when I took a test and it was positive. He was super charming. Kind of feel he lives a double life though. Fast forward I’m 5 months pregnant and these entire five months have been the most loneliest time of my life. He’s showed me so many sides of him. He’s a narcissist, a huge manipulator and he gaslights me all the time. Went from okay it is what it is, to raise him alone, to saying things to upset me and make me jealous, to saying he’s going to be involved you guys get it.. but I’m a mom of two one lives with me full time. But still I’ll be 26 and not married. Been feeling like I won’t find someone I also have bpd. He has two daughters our baby is a boy and he’s involved with one child I noticed pretty regularly. I haven’t met his family or anything and he blocks me as he picks fights even when I’m being pleasant. I just feel guilty bc I’m preparing to be a single mom again. Third child. First son father died, second son we were engaged and my mental health made it hard I had to let him go, and now a man that only wants to be cordial if I have sex with him. Any advice? I just feel like if I keep this baby, that no man going forward wants a already made family like that. I do plan to take 2023 to pour into myself and healing bc I just keep attracting trauma bonds or bad men who don’t value me. It’s tiring and I know I shouldn’t worry about relationships but bpd already have you feeling lonely as is and I crave companionship and so disappointed he’s treating me like this.