My live-in boyfriend and his sister are the only two siblings and they are very closed.

His sister lives out of state and visits three times per year with her family (husband and kids), mostly during holidays.

When she visits, my boyfriend wants to drop everything, including me to hang with them.

He goes to them right after work, plan weekends, and other excursions with them.

I sometimes get invited but I get the vibe that it overwhelms everybody, especially his mom. I have always told him to give his sister her space and see what she want to do as a family. The more I hang with them more I crave to be around my side of the family whom all lives close by. I usually miss out on special holidays with them because I am with his family.

The sister is very understanding, she usually leaves it up to him to decide. My boyfriend then gets really anxious and becomes depressed and does nothing when he feels like he has to chose between staying home or hanging with his family.

For NYE, I decided to hang with my family while his sister is visiting. My boyfriend confronted me and said to me that I get “weird” when his sister is around. Also that I don’t care about his nephews when they visit and should apologize for not being around during this visit.

Given that I have gone out of my way to welcome them and be there.

Am I wrong for wanting to have balance between times with his family and mines, nevertheless times for me and him?