Hi ladies,

I had sex for the first time about a year ago and since I started having sex, I usually experience pain in the first minute or so and occasionally bleed. My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship and see each other every couple of months, so I’m not sure if it’s possible that my hymen keeps tearing or something? I’ve heard this isn’t a thing though so I’m very confused. I’m almost positive I don’t have any STDs (I was tested about a year ago and have only been with my boyfriend since). We always use lube as well during sex. My guess was originally that the pain might be due to me tensing up or something even though I try to tell myself to relax during sex. I trust my boyfriend completely, but I have had a few bad sexual experiences with others in the past that luckily didn’t result in penetration but that I suspect may still affect my ability to relax. In general I’ve had some difficulty putting things in my vagina as well (tampons, sex toys, etc.) because of fear, but I’ve never been nervous about sex with my boyfriend except for the very first time we had sex.

I don’t feel like this explains the bleeding though 🤔 I just arrived a few days ago to see him and we’ve had sex twice and it hurt a lot both times in the beginning and slightly through the rest of the time we were having sex. Both times when I went to the bathroom afterwards I found that I was bleeding a little bit. Does anyone have any advice or thoughts on what could be causing this?

Thanks in advance!