boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now. We’re still both virgins (as in penis in vagina) because we’ve never felt ready just yet. We do other things such as oral/fingering/blowjobs.

We’ve been together since HS and of course I was a lot skinnier and have gained over 50 pounds so I’m a lot heavier now. In the beginning and middle of the relationship he would take more initiative to have intimate time together, call me pretty and beautiful and just lovey bf stuff.

However now towards the middle and till now of my weight gain it’s been a while since he’s called me pretty or beautiful, and I have to be the one to initiate any sort of intimacy always. I think there was a time I was testing to see how long it’d be till he initiate and let’s say it never happened and that was almost 3 months.

I’ve told him in conversation before I’d like for him to be more dominant and take initiative so it’s not that I haven’t vocalized that.

My point is, I’m starting to worry he no longer has attraction towards me due to my weight gain and I’m not sure what to do or how to bring this up. Sex or forms of sex isn’t my #1 in a relationship but definitely is up on the list so I have felt deprived and have to resort to self pleasuring most times.

I don’t want to think of things that aren’t true but I can’t help but feel terrible at the thought he is not attracted to me anymore due to my weight gain and if that means our relationship is done, any comments would be appreciated.