Frustrated!
I'm sooo very frustrated and disheartened. I was starting to feel hopeful because I have so many symptoms but in the middle of the night I was awakened by horrible cramps and then woke up 3 times afterwards for the same reason... My bf and I don't live together yet so I have to tell him which days we have to do it. Last month we agreed to do it before, during and after to make sure we covered all the bases; but then we ended up doing it only before because of his training course workload (he left the restauration industry and is taking classes to become a graphic designer). I was really annoyed when we didn't do it when I got the ewcm and positive ovulation tests but so I stopped temping etc for a while but then I started to think that maybe I ovulated a little earlier than expected so I started back tempingand was feeling really hopeful. But now I'm pissed!!! He says he wants to start a family but can't give me 5 mins to get me pregnant!!! I wonder if he understands that whole fertile window concept. He seems to but yet at times I think he doesn't understand that I literally can only get pregnant at a very specific time in the month and that timing is everything. I am going to be more pissed than usual when my period comes tomorrow or in the next few days because that was totally avoidable!!! Now I'll have to start a whole new cycle testing, temping etc which gives me extreme anxiety because this is the second time I feel like I ovulated for nothing!!!!😤 😤 😤 I hate losing my eggs so foolishly. I turned 30 in August and I'm seriously freaking out!! I know that many of you will say there's still lots of time etc but I feel old and I don't feel like I have time!! 😫 😫 I want 4 children (which btw I should already have because I had 4 miscarriages perfectly spaced out...😢) And I don't know how long it'll take me to get pregnant nor if I'll have any more miscarriages. Hence the reason why I need to get pregnant ASAP!! And he knows that because I told him!! And before yall say he isn't ready and is afraid to tell me no. He said more than once that he wants to get me pregnant and that he wants a baby right away. Which was perfectly exciting to me because I'm usually the one who wants the baby/brings it up and I thought that it was nice to finally be in a relationship with someone who wants a baby as much as I do so it should happen very quickly but no... I am so sick and tired of that frigging course, this is our 2nd month trying and it's the second month we missed my window because of it. In November we did it right after. Ahhhhhhhh I have zero patience and I hate to feel like my time is being wasted and that I'm throwing money away on tests!! I use clearblue advanced monitor so I have to by the test that go with it. Sorry for the long post but I had to vent. I feel like extremely nauseous and crampy while I write this. Pfffffff
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.