Sorry in advance for the long post. I’m venting on here 😣

So today at 6 weeks pregnant I found out that we’ve lost our baby.

Feel drained, emotional and pissed off with my body. I don’t know how many times I can keep picking myself back up from this.

We wasn’t trying but also not taking precautions, my friend found out she was pregnant and I thought I’d do one too as felt off. And it was positive, so shocked but so happy. In the back of my mind I knew it was too good to be true though. I’d already had 2 miscarriages and one chemical.

I told my partner on Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> and he was excited and cried 😢. I got a faint line on a test 1 day before my period was due.

4 days later I took a test and it was a lot lighter than it was a few days ago. Which I knew wasn’t a good sign.

New years day I was in a&e as my doctor was concerned I was having an ectopic due to pains on my side. The bleeding wasn’t heavy at all and nothing like my previous miscarriages and nothing ever went onto the pad I was wearing.

I’ll post photos of the bleeding, it went from pink to red really quickly but only when I wiped. The hospital wouldn’t scan me there and then and done a pregnancy test which was positive. They booked me in for a scan ( that was today). On New Year’s Day the blood was still red but I started having a few clots. Again nothing like my previous miscarriages. On Sunday evening the bleeding stopped and I had nothing more.

Today at my scan appointment, before I even went into have the scan I was taken into another room and told that the pregnancy test they had just taken was negative and that they wouldn’t normally scan someone due to that. However because I was in pain and was still having cramps they’d scan me. Was told that I need to speak to my GP and ask them to refer me to a fertility clinic.

I had the scan and everything was gone, no sign of a pregnancy. They checked my ovaries and everything was fine there.

I’ve had a cry but don’t feel that it’s actually hit me that I’ve lost another baby.

My partner wants to start trying this time but I feel like if I get pregnant again I’m just going to be a nervous wreck the whole time, scared to even poo I case I miscarry. From now on I know that for me bleeding in pregnancy means the pregnancy has ended 🥺.

How many of you have been though multiple miscarriage and how long did it take for you to get pregnant after your loss?