My family is all pretty close my mom, and my brothers we all talk almost daily to each other. My mom and I talk the most and she is very partial to my kids.

Currently, my mom lives out of state(Nebraska) with her bf, her mom, and her cousin all live in that state as well.

My brothers live in Michigan where our family is from they are married with kids. My mom’s own sisters, cousins, and everyone else lives in Michigan. She talks to her sisters almost daily as well, but insists she isnt THAT close to them.

I live in Tennessee with my husband and kids(we will never move and I like it here). My husband is from here and his family and parents are all here as well. I have ZERO family here and only a few friends.

I wish I had family here!!

Here’s the thing, my mom is not very mature( think like a 19yr old in decision making), super insecure, no self worth, and can barely hold a job. She is not very financially responsible either! She had went through bankrupt a couple years ago.

She has been going through hard times in her relationship with her bf and wants to leave him.

She has mentioned many times she wants to move to Tennessee and be close to my kids and she knows I wish I had family here. I do.

I told her no though, Im worried she would be dependent on me and get lonely when Im busy or doing things with my husbands family. Im worried she would struggle financially and we would need to help or cant help. I told her I think it would better if she lived in Michigan because there is more family there, more support, and wouldnt get lonely. Plus, my brothers are there so more grandkids.

She insists that their kids dont know her as well as my kids. I told her that would change but she doesnt think so because their other grandparents are closer to them and have more money. She is irrational.

I would love my mom to be here, but Im worried about holidays, her finances, jobs she struggles to hold etc

What happens when I take my family to Michigan for a holiday and she cant afford to go so she is stuck alone for the holidays. or Im at my in-laws??

My mom said I was hurting her feelings and started to cry. I didnt tell her any of my worries, just the holidays part and that she should move to Michigan.

Idk what to do or whats right here.. I feel like it’s selfish to bring her here but wrong to think she cant take care of herself. But I want family so bad!

(Also, my husband and I are financially tight at the moment as Im starting RN school soon and we are building a house on our land soon)