I’m currently pregnant 19weeks w/ twins and I’m an emotional wreck. I feel like I’m going back so many steps that took so much of me to get to the point I was at if it makes sense. I lost my older brother in 2021 he was murdered and it was the hardest goodbye of my life. Little by little I started to get my emotions in control and trying to move forward and be the best aunt I can to his babies, but ever since getting pregnant I cry just looking at his pictures and hearing his voice in videos something it took so much of me to move forward from and be able to see his pictures with out crying and now I feel like I’m back to square one. I barely look at his pictures and videos now and it’s been months since I visited his grave. My anxiety has been off the walls I’m trying with everything in me to stay calm and relaxed but it’s hard. And a side note what really gets to me is my babies conception date is his birthday and I was trying for months and nothing happened, I know deep down he sent me my babies.