Together 7 YEARS! No ring, no nothing!

My brother in law has been dating his girlfriend for 7 years BUT, has admitted to a relative 4 years ago that he has no plans on marrying her. They’ve never lived together, but he has lived with roommates in rental homes. He is 29 turning 30 this year. She is 28 Turing 29 this year. He’s narcissistic AF and blatantly disrespects the shit out of her in front of his family members that tolerate that kind of behavior. Pure man child.

So the relative asked him why hasn’t he broken up with her. My brother in law says he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃…(it gets better). He said he’s been trying to have HER break up with him for a while now but nothing he does seems to make her do it….🫠

So my brother in law’s girlfriend is venting to all the women in the family, repeatedly asking if they think my brother in law loves her or wants to marry her. Meanwhile all of her friends are getting married, pregnant, moving on with their lives. She’s living with her parents and he’s living with his grandparents. That relative that my brother in law was talking to about the girlfriend didn’t “rat him out”, but she just told the girlfriend that my brother in law is not good for her and she needs to leave. The girlfriend ignores any advice given to her and keeps complaining and second guessing the relationship🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩….

I am not close to the girlfriend at all and I didn’t know about what my brother in law said 4 years ago until recently or else I would’ve told the poor girl. But there was a time she called ME (of all people) and started venting. She tells me about how one time my brother in law hadn’t spoken to her for a whole week. She didn’t want to bother him but felt like that was a long time, so she reached out to him by text, saying she misses him. He responded with “who is this”.

When I tell you I damn near threw my phone!!!!!! I couldn’t believe this was real. I was very honest with her and told her I would never be with such a person who would treat me so poorly. If my husband wanted a divorce that would be a good way to do it! She just kept gaslighting and putting the blame on herself. She said one time she had a talk with my brother in law, she asked him if he doesn’t want to get married, his response was “I never said that”….. so she ran with that. Then told me she she trusts that if he didn’t want to be in the relationship he would say so.

I kindly distanced myself from her and some of those relatives for unrelated reasons and if it wasn’t obvious already, they are full of drama, and live a synthetic lifestyle.

But yea she’s still asking the same questions and just keeps getting bread crumbed. She’s incredibly insecure but she’s beautiful. I put all the blame on my brother in law but I’m tired of repeating myself only for her to still stick around and wipe his ass.

I’m surprised this relationship has gone as long as it has. She posts pictures on her Instagram as if they’re this happy couple. He even goes on trips with her and her family when they invite him. And I’m curious if her family is starting to scratch their heads.

She is Jewish my brother in law is not. He has made cruel jokes about her being Jewish and about her weight. I think he doesn’t do it anymore. But the tolerance she has for his disrespect and covering it up so her friends and family can like him is mind blowing to me.

If you or anyone you know is in a relationship like this please believe actions over words. If something feels off just listen to your gut even if you don’t have evidence. There’s no reasons anyone should be in such a non transparent relationship. This is TOXIC. Idk how to help this girl but at this point I’m done and just venting.