breakup help??

Question

So I need to break up with my boyfriend because I feel like we’re not compatible. ( context, i’m 21, he’s 24). I really do care for him as a person and friend; however, romantically I feel like the spark isn’t there for me like it should be. I am so thankful for all that he does bc I really am spoiled and taken care of by him. The only reason why we’re having issues is from past people giving me trust issues with him and him feeling like he isn’t important to me after i had to take a step back and process everything. I feel rather overwhelmed by the relationship, especially bc we’ve only been dating for 17 days and we’ve had so many issues in these 3ish weeks. He’s already REALLY in love with me as he tells me but I feel bad bc i don’t feel the same. He’s always buying my gifts, sending me random money for things, and always taking me out, already trying to talk about our wedding, proposal, kids…etc. (which is also scaring me bc i’m still really young and we JUST met basically) and i can’t help but feel like a shitty person for still not loving him when he does so much for me. I’m also hesitant to break it off bc I feel bad for all the time/money he’s wasted on me, just for me to not feel the same anymore. How can I go about this breakup or just general advice about relationships when you’re younger/still figuring yourself and stuff out.

Answer

Hun….17 days and he’s talking about marriage and kids? 17 days and he’s overwhelming you with gifts and money and doing things for you?   He’s love bombing you.  Major red flag. 
Since you acknowledge some of your own trust issues are at play here, if it were me I’d break it off by saying something to the effect of you’ve realized over the last 3 weeks you aren’t ready to be in a relationship because you have some struggles you need to work on for yourself.  Keep it at that and don’t worry about anything he’s spoiled you with or done over the last few weeks.

Answer

Personally I think all of the money spending and attention he’s showering on you is a bit weird at this early, partnered w the talk of kids and being “in love.” Rarely can you really LOVE someone in 3 weeks. It just all seems very immature. You seem to be approaching it much more rationally. It’s interesting bc I don’t think you have “too little” feelings, I think you’re actually feeling probably quite normal for a 3 week relationship whereas he’s being over the top. A lack of rational behavior in a positive way can quickly turn into a lack of rational behavior in a negative way. 
Also, if you’ve already been fighting 3 weeks in that odd too. 
The gifts/etc could be to make you feel bad for dumping him. You cannot let that stop you. I would just be honest and tell him the rate he desires this relationship to progress at is too much for you as you are still trying to figure out what you feel, that you appreciate him but need some space and time.

Answer

You've been dating barely 3 weeks and you're already having issues. The first few months of a relationship should be the absolute easiest time. 
You don't need a long conversation with him, just be straightforward and tell him it's not working. Block him on all platforms and move on.

Answer

I think all you can do is be honest with him. You both deserve to live an authentic life. If he was just overwhelming you, you could communicate that you need to slow down. If you dont even have feelings for him though, sadly, him slowing down probably wont resolve things.

breakup help??

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